ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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