he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
