At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
