Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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