i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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