i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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