he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
