just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
