ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
