I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I AM VODKA MAN
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
