question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
