Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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