the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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