It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
