we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
