Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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