yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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