Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
