Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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