I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
