It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
