WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
