yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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