normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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