Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.