I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
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How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.