Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.