i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
