actually, I'm a sock model
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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