do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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