Already got asked if we're dating
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
