Fuck appropriateness.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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