1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
