70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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