Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
