If i come over, it means nothing
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
