Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
