yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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