At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
