We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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