So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
