Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
