Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
