I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
