Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?