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Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So much rum. So many feels.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
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