Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.

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  (312): We made it safely. Thanks for the call though. http://tfl.nu/g3rc
  Replies (12) Good night (1192) Bad night (1239)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?

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  (219): I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate? http://tfl.nu/53jf
  Replies (15) Good night (5791) Bad night (898)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning

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  (917): the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning http://tfl.nu/3svo
  Replies (10) Good night (5486) Bad night (709)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.

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  (602): i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule. http://tfl.nu/edaa
  Replies (10) Good night (4218) Bad night (2503)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.

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  (609): Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand. http://tfl.nu/nkg8
  Replies (44) Good night (15942) Bad night (1733)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.

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  (574): there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk. http://tfl.nu/a189
  Replies (8) Good night (4436) Bad night (873)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

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  (281): when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer http://tfl.nu/c3p9
  Replies (32) Good night (11165) Bad night (1320)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.

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  (503): After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him. http://tfl.nu/iy8v
  Replies (20) Good night (5050) Bad night (958)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.

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  (239): He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes. http://tfl.nu/tunx
  Replies (5) Good night (862) Bad night (2959)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.

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  (317): Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays. http://tfl.nu/4yhe
  Replies (9) Good night (1737) Bad night (1077)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.

  (1-989): View more from Michigan

  You did this to yourself.

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  (989): I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation. (1-989): You did this to yourself. http://tfl.nu/o89r
  Replies (11) Good night (1660) Bad night (716)
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  (949): View more from California

  I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.

  (949): View more from California

  In a moving vehicle and other people in the car

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  (949): I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket. (949): In a moving vehicle and other people in the car http://tfl.nu/58wf
  Replies (7) Good night (1378) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck

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  (240): did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck http://tfl.nu/lph9
  Replies (7) Good night (944) Bad night (886)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot

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  (763): Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot http://tfl.nu/9zep
  Replies (6) Good night (605) Bad night (741)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers

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  (412): I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers http://tfl.nu/enl0
  Replies (2) Good night (736) Bad night (336)

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