Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?

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  (917): If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I? http://tfl.nu/azfj
  Replies (10) Good night (639) Bad night (1216)
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  (831): View more from California

  my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.

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  (831): my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens. http://tfl.nu/mq1e
  Replies (14) Good night (3078) Bad night (510)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.

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  (847): Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better. http://tfl.nu/ewir
  Replies (17) Good night (3262) Bad night (749)
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  (408): View more from California

  Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?

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  (408): Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge? http://tfl.nu/3h8y
  Replies (67) Good night (2245) Bad night (6154)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.

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  (201): Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it. http://tfl.nu/rf1i
  Replies (4) Good night (2859) Bad night (1568)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk

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  (630): I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk http://tfl.nu/t8bq
  Replies (6) Good night (2055) Bad night (574)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall

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  (432): If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall http://tfl.nu/47u9
  Replies (2) Good night (1017) Bad night (950)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.

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  (615): I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it. http://tfl.nu/knuw
  Replies (7) Good night (1354) Bad night (748)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.

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  (816): she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/xnh2
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (995)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.

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  (+64): Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed. http://tfl.nu/5kj1
  Replies (8) Good night (1914) Bad night (566)
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  (212): View more from New York

  The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.

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  (212): The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you. http://tfl.nu/c03k
  Replies (9) Good night (2395) Bad night (947)
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  (607): View more from New York

  So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.

  (607): View more from New York

  These are the moments that bond souls forever.

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  (607): So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan. (607): These are the moments that bond souls forever. http://tfl.nu/nwlm
  Replies (2) Good night (988) Bad night (437)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on

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  (905): So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on http://tfl.nu/azx1
  Replies (2) Good night (315) Bad night (972)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.

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  (919): I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day. http://tfl.nu/lt26
  Replies (4) Good night (798) Bad night (207)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore

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  (+44): Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore http://tfl.nu/dh34
  Replies (0) Good night (366) Bad night (194)

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