We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.