Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar

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(732): i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar http://tfl.nu/z6xf

Replies (9) Good night (3362) Bad night (935)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.

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(724): Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring. http://tfl.nu/m3s5

Replies (5) Good night (1054) Bad night (4511)
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(386): View more from Florida

Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.

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(386): Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation. http://tfl.nu/xc4n

Replies (27) Good night (5439) Bad night (1916)
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(469): View more from Texas

Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?

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(469): Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right? http://tfl.nu/axfy

Replies (9) Good night (1035) Bad night (2934)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me

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(612): Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me http://tfl.nu/r7ma

Replies (17) Good night (1018) Bad night (2090)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.

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(609): I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt. http://tfl.nu/9dqv

Replies (10) Good night (805) Bad night (2326)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Impressive. I approve.

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(317): Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition (1-317): Impressive. I approve. http://tfl.nu/uf2f

Replies (4) Good night (1468) Bad night (466)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.

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(913): I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll. http://tfl.nu/i4my

Replies (0) Good night (1015) Bad night (576)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.

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(970): I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh. http://tfl.nu/93er

Replies (9) Good night (1856) Bad night (834)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.

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(410): I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now. http://tfl.nu/a4rz

Replies (7) Good night (1335) Bad night (425)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.

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(252): You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives. http://tfl.nu/s1c1

Replies (10) Good night (499) Bad night (1213)
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(818): View more from California

Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.

(818): View more from California

Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.

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(818): Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history. (818): Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night. http://tfl.nu/hwf0

Replies (6) Good night (395) Bad night (1234)
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(613): View more from Ontario

If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day

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(613): If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day http://tfl.nu/i6y7

Replies (0) Good night (461) Bad night (343)
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(716): View more from New York

He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!

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(716): He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!! http://tfl.nu/3hh7

Replies (5) Good night (594) Bad night (339)
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(630): View more from Illinois

He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.

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(630): He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call. http://tfl.nu/ffg6

Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (331)

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