Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

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  (415): I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity. http://tfl.nu/h9r5
  Replies (9) Good night (1329) Bad night (465)
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  (369): View more from California

  I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.

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  (369): I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes. http://tfl.nu/u7kl
  Replies (19) Good night (970) Bad night (4647)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.

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  (612): Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor. http://tfl.nu/6ksu
  Replies (9) Good night (3655) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser

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  (562): Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser http://tfl.nu/nnjn
  Replies (3) Good night (2234) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.

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  (415): I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food. http://tfl.nu/ruld
  Replies (6) Good night (2144) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.

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  (516): Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper. http://tfl.nu/eehy
  Replies (8) Good night (1738) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

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  (253): I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks http://tfl.nu/tvej
  Replies (11) Good night (1057) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.

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  (740): I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs. http://tfl.nu/ltie
  Replies (3) Good night (1071) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.

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  (617): Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas. http://tfl.nu/mhor
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!

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  (517): No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf (615): Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?! http://tfl.nu/9d33
  Replies (9) Good night (657) Bad night (1785)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?

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  (920): My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls? http://tfl.nu/f946
  Replies (9) Good night (1368) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase

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  (310): I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase http://tfl.nu/ni6z
  Replies (3) Good night (874) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?

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  (630): This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite? http://tfl.nu/a887
  Replies (3) Good night (619) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.

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  (775): That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed. http://tfl.nu/y3pb
  Replies (9) Good night (256) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  did you know we used to have a pool?

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  (306): mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived (306): did you know we used to have a pool? http://tfl.nu/0ssr
  Replies (0) Good night (245) Bad night (423)

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