im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Randomize
