what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
porn star boner night. come get it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
