I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It's Friday. Sex?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
