Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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