her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
