Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
