I must be too annoying 4 u.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
