I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
