Just cropdusted the office
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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