I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Randomize
