what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize