who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
