I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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