Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
