Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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