The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize