The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
