she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hippo gnu deer
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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