My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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